can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
