we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
