i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
