U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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