I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
