whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
