Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she smelled like a LAN party
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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