so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
