Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
