Screwed.edu
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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