Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
