I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
