There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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