mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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