he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
