Your dad touched me again.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
