He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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