so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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