Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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