I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
