I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
