so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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