my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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