Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
