Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
