It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
