everyone is single if you try hard enough
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My feet surprised me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
