youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
