Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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