the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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