Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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