I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize