my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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