Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
