We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
