Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Randomize
