I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
