This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
