took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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