And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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