i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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