Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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