I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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