There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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