I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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