I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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