Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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