Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
