sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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