I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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