hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
