the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
