I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
These tits shall not be calmed
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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