Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
