saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
