Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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