If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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