Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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