think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
