How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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