i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We need to get me chipped asap
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize