I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize