I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
