I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
